Is Love Still Worth Fighting For?
It’s not very trendy to be in love these days. More and more, I notice people embracing the “me, me, me” era—prioritizing independence, solitude, and self-interest. I’ve had this same conversation with my single friends countless times. And with my friends who are in relationships or married, the dialogue shifts—we talk about the challenges of partnership. The disagreements, the growing pains, the work it takes. But somehow, every conversation ends with the same phrase: “It is what it is.”
Of course, everyone has their own version of that line, but what they’re really saying is: I’m not going anywhere.
Recently, I watched a film that stirred something deep in me. The Life List—a Netflix movie that reminded me of who I am at my core. In one scene, the mother shares four simple but powerful questions to help determine whether you’re truly in love. And I couldn’t help but feel: every woman needs to hear this.We live in a time where selfishness is sometimes celebrated as self-care, and detachment is mistaken for strength. I’ve worked hard to heal from co-dependency, but that doesn’t mean I’ve given up on love. I still believe in it—fiercely. I’ll always be a lover girl. But I also want to be a good partner, a good wife. And I know now that the space I belong in lies somewhere between my parents’ two extremes.
My father adored the honeymoon phase—each time a new woman came along, he’d fall hard and fast. But just as quickly, he’d self-sabotage and move on. My mother, on the other hand, showed love by sacrificing herself entirely. She gave and gave, rarely receiving, never demanding the care she deserved. Eventually, her love stories just became situations of convenience—“It’s time to say I love you,” followed by “It’s time to move in,” until the years blurred together. And I often wonder: after my father, did she ever truly fall in love again?
Then there’s me—the black sheep. The one who believed I was unaffected by their patterns. And yet here I am, crying over the quiet tenderness between a mother and daughter on screen, realizing I’m still healing the wounds I inherited.
But healing isn’t all tears—it’s clarity too. That film left me with a few truths I want to carry with me. Maybe they’ll resonate with you too:
Ask yourself these 4 questions before you commit:
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Is he kind?
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Does he help me become a better version of myself?
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Can I share with him whatever is in my heart?
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Can I truly see him being the father of my children?
Simple, but so powerful.
Love is complicated. It is messy. But life is too short not to try. Too short not to chase what lights you up. So here’s what I’m choosing:
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Love is worth fighting for.
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I won’t let fear dress up as logic.
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I’ll keep chasing joy, not just survival.
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I will ask for help when I need it.
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I will never settle again.
Because I know now—I’m not too much. I’m just enough for the kind of love that’s meant for me.
Today’s song: Some Things I’ll Never Know – Teddy Swims